Split.

split

/split/

verb

1. 1.

   break or cause to break forcibly into parts, especially into halves or along the grain.

Alexander, M. (1993).  Fault lines: A memoir (2nd ed.) [Kindle Fire version]. New York: The Feminist Press of the City University of New York.

Wow.  After reading more and discovering more, Alexander's story breaks my heart.  No child should ever have to experience what she did.  To have someone you love and trust so much sexually abuse you, is in so many ways wrong.  Her grandfather hurt her so greatly that she had no choice but to bury it deep in her mind.  She couldn't even tell her father before he died.  Alexander talks about how she didn't realize what really happened until later in life.  And she wonders how didn't realize when things like the below were written in her childhood notebook.

"...from Shakespeare's play: 'Sorrow concealed, like to an oven stopp'd, /Doth burn the heart to cinders where it is'" (Chapter 16).

Using her beautiful skill of writing she elaborates more...
"I taught myself to accept that there is knowledge that is too much for the nervous system to bear, that disappears underground, but sparks up through fault lines" (Chapter 16).  In this quote, we learn the meaning for the title of her memoir.  She not only feels torn apart due to her migrating childhood, but also because of her familial relationships.  I can't imagine what it would be like to have grown up in a family where the mother / the woman is supposed to lead a set life of serving her husband.  

Like her, I did grow up in a Christian household but not as strict.  Also like her, I grew up with privilege...maybe a different kind of privilege and more so, but nevertheless we have some commonalities.  I think it's once we realize our own privilege and strength, then we can have an open heart and mind.  I try to put myself her in her shoes, but it's very difficult.  What I can do is have an understanding of her story and use what I've learned to accept who I am as a woman and accept other perspectives that aren't my own. 

Considering her traumatic incident with her grandfather, it's no wonder she struggled with her identity as a woman.  And still does.  I do wonder if she'll come to some sort of peace within herself later on in the memoir...

Image source

https://davemcdowell.wordpress.com/2014/07/18/a-world-split-apart/